15.3.13

Waning - Jesus Army Life

My heart for community is waning. I want nothing else, but struggles and distanced relationships are making it hard to dream.

What do I do?

What if circumstances beyond my control steal my dreams?

Then how do I learn to dream again?

Spring is coming at last and with it a call to new adventures.

I don't want to lose my dreams, but I'm scared that maybe my dreams are losing me.

no shapes sail on the dark deep lakes by zato on flickr

1.3.13

A melody of love - Jesus Army Life

I don't go for liturgy very much.

I don't like the thought of someone else deciding what I should pray.

Even though it's likely to be something far better than I could ever hash together.

But I have to admit there's something very useful in coming to God with words you've used before, and doing it as a community too.

Recently my church group has been exploring Compline which I understand to be a set of closing prayers for the day, allowing you to go over the events of the day with God.

And I haven't enjoyed them very much, even though others have.

However, it has got me thinking about the usefulness of a daily rhythm in a person's life. It's incredibly valuable to have a structure to the day. It actually allows me to be more deliberate about what I do with my time when I know there's a pattern to it.

Community living carries a rhythm no matter how unstructured it seems to be. Perhaps it's simply the heartbeat of common society. Togetherness naturally makes a melody, marking time by shared experience.

And as community creates moments I find I can exist in the gaps. My life defined by the peaks and troughs of a loving environment.

I need that rhythm. Even though I am trusting my independence to others, I feel I am nothing without it.