A new start - Jesus Army Life, Day 517

Well, we just baptised our first man from Worcester. It was a good baptism although he has a long way to go. I think he'll do well.

Tomorrow he stays at home while the other men trek off to a leader's meeting. Sounds cruel? He'll be getting some leadership training of his own. In our church we hold to the basic teaching that men carry authority in a church household. Now, in reality, authority is won by the respect given to and the conviction of the person who holds it, whether they be male or female, but there is great significance in men learning to lead from the front. So tomorrow, as we leave for the meeting, this young disciple will be charged with leading the prayer time before the day's main meal. A small responsibility perhaps, but when you've never done anything like that before, and when there are several other mature sisters there, with far greater clout (in Christ) than you, it is an awesome and humbling thing to do. And it is a great initiation into the reality that as a man you will always be relied upon to look after and speak out for others - this is why it is so important for shy men to learn to lead from the front in humility.

I am told it is also "a means of grace" from the sisters to the brother - they hand over their right to be self autonomous to the brother and so he learns that he has to be responsible for others. The sisters don't have to do that, but in doing so they are bringing great strength and encouragement to him.

The elders meeting itself should be good tomorrow, it being the start of a new year. There will be opportunity to review our journey with God over the past twelve months and hear His Spirit for the time ahead, an important time of consecration I imagine.

Photo by Phil H of flickr.com

He answers prayer - Jesus Army Life, Day 515

Answered prayer:

• Being bought a minibus by the Trust after we were told the waiting list was too long and we couldn't receive one till sometime next year.


• A very irate young girl returning to apologise after praying with her intended enemy that she would do so.


• People just turning up on the doorstep wanting Jesus.

Unanswered prayer:

• Making avenues into the student community


• Seeing a friend's relative find healing

Eternal effect - Jesus Army Life, Day 514

I've just watched Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ for the third time. I once heard a film critic describe the movie as a horror film and in many ways it is, it shows the real defeat of evil and is bloody, gory stuff. But if there is something macabre about the cross then it is at once both horrific and profound. No sentient Christian can watch that film and not remember that Jesus was dying for them. You count each wound, each spurt of blood, as an eternal payment on your behalf.

Jesus is still at work today, but He has triumphed and calls others to follow in His footsteps. Tonight my friend watched the film for the first time and ended up crying over his sin. Two brothers (real brothers) came round for the first time and discovered church where people lay down their lives for one another. And I have seen two of my disciples on their way to finding Jesus again. These things are of great importance to my own heart. Jesus is at work, helping people to find Him. And His work shall continue until He returns.

Photo by Giampaolo Macorig of flickr.com

Love of my life - Jesus Army Life, Day 511

Well, here I am sitting in our lounge, listening to the various conversations going on. There is a lot of love around. No one is saying “I love you” exactly but there's just some good conversation. People are tenderly affirming one another, relaxing with each other, one sister is resting her head on another's knee, there's lots of laughter around, the lads are making a curry in the kitchen. It's beautiful really.

We've just recently come back from the Sunday evening meeting, which I led (it seemed to go well). And before that we spent the day at our mother-household which is always a heartening experience, a bit like seeing very close relatives whom you love very much. I guess the general feeling I have at the moment is that this is church growing and blossoming in health and it's good.

Not that there aren't issues at the moment. Once again I'm challenged by the progress of various young men, some are doing very well, some are struggling, which is distressing, and simply, it challenges me. I want to see God move in so many people's lives, and I know he will, but I'm impatient!

Beauty mixed with pain: Life.

photo by Mr Austin Frothingslosh of flickr.com

Wish list - Jesus Army Life, Day 509

There are so many gifts you wish you had. I wish I had the gift to reach my friends with my entire heart - the gift of saying the right thing at the right time. I often feel aware of that need because I'm painfully aware that I often get it wrong. I'm usually lost for words and fail to say the right thing; lightening wit is a gift I covet. Another gift I wish I had is the ability to inspire, I so want to share with others the beauty I see, whether it's in God or in them or in life generally. Finally, the gift I would love to have is the ability to make people laugh, I often do, but I'd like the ability to turn it on like a tap, it often evades me.

But then I'm just me, young, gifted, a child of God - I know that is what is important. And I know the strengths I do have, and in some ways I praise God for my weaknesses too.

Photo by Farl of Flickr.com

Time and tide - Jesus Army Life, Day508

Days can begin slowly, in the first muttered words of prayer you mull over all the things that will happen in the hours ahead and you know you'll be in need of God's help, at other times you find your mind wandering, captured, barely able to think past your own vain imaginations. No matter what mood possesses you, all that space to think quickly becomes an illusion and you’re working on borrowed time. Thoughts may move at a snail's pace but real time flies by; before you know it, it's time to go to work, time for lunch, and it's time to go home. And then bang! You’re back into the bustle of community life, face to face with all the hopes and cares you tried to give attention to all those hours ago first thing in the morning. Hopes like: the newcomers experiencing the power of God, wayward disciples finding repentance, closing with that brother about some important issue, or simply making sure you've got enough time to relax before you go to sleep. And before you know it, it's another day.

But God remains true. Our heavenly Father is always working and He gives proper attention to what matters. And so the newcomers come and find a place of rest for their hearts, wayward disciples return a little meeker but much more loved, time is spent with that brother investing in things that will last forever, and time to rest…? This is the Kingdom of God we’re talking about! There’s too much work to do, we’ll rest when we reach the everlasting Sabbath.

Photo by Dean Forbes of Flickr.com

Treasure in Heaven - Jesus Army Life, Day 502

Several people have been nagging me about posting an update on my blog. I believe the entirety of my experiences can be summed up in one word: wow!

The truth is that while there are many funny and profound experiences I could have written about lately I haven't been able to because I haven't found the time to do them justice (I'm waiting to get some kit to be able to write properly each evening). Life is great though, it has stretched from the mesmerising astonishment of realising that God wants to give us all His righteousness to the comically crazy event of slapping hair wax under my arms (... I was late for work and got a tad confused).

And so much has been happening in terms of growth at White Stone, lots of brothers staying over, new people, new friends, taking the gospel to Worcester, family life etc I do want to write... but I have to find the time.

Most importantly God has been great. His Spirit keeps reminding me a lot about patience so I need to get my head round that, but I've also been rediscovering the beauty of this "treasure hid in jars of clay" lately and I can't but love Him.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it.
Matthew 13:45-46

Photo by kool skatkat

The darkness within - Jeus Army Life, Day 484

Last night I got together with a few brothers for a meal and a time to think about our spiritual lives. It was a valuable, rich evening which I truly appreciated; and it wasn't all thinking-stuff, we had a practical time of practicing prophecy and anointing our host's flat, but an interesting issue did come out of it that I'll relate in a moment.

On the way to work this morning a brother was talking about how shocking it would be if we all spoke out what we were thinking all the time! We concluded that we'd soon learn to control our thoughts, which begs the question - why don't we? The brother commented that the problem was that thoughts exist in our private world where no one else can see them (except the Spirit of God), in other words they exist in the darkness. We don't have to control our thoughts because no one else can see them. It reminded me of the scripture:

The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!
Matthew 6:22

In other words what you focus on effects your how good or bad your conscience is. We can be full of darkness (and how great that darkness) because while on the outside we pretend to be good, inside we are truly rotten and wicked, not really focussing on Jesus or giving ourselves to him.

When I had been with the brothers I'd spoken about Jesus' story of the slave who did nothing with the talent given to him by his master (Matthew 25). The slave was an intimate member of his master's company, if he were a modern Christian he would have gone evangelising when his brothers evangelised, he would have prayed for people to be healed if that was the activity of the day, he might be moved to cast out demons, but when asked to do the specific work of personally investing his energy for the profit of his master he failed because he practiced disobedience in his heart. The slave was punished.

How about us?

Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'
Matthew 7:21

It is vitally important that we give ourselves to knowing Jesus with all that we are or he will say that he never knew us. We simply cannot allow the darkness to rule within. Interestingly all that Jesus says before his words on focussing on the darkness is about what we do in secret, and how it must all be given to God. It's too easy for the hypocrite in each of us to do whatever everyone else is doing and think that we are doing good. It's all about what we do when no one else is looking. We've got to get our religion right.

True faith produces a life full of actions, not a head full of facts.
Anon

Photos by carf and bitmapr of flickr.com

Get it right - Jesus Army Life, Day 478

This world is tough, but have you not yet noticed? We were not made for this world.

After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will... establish you.
(1 Peter 5:8-11)

The prayer meeting - Jesus Army Life, Day 473

I'm going to write this and try not to sound self righteous... and probably fail... here goes: We have a regular prayer meeting which begins at the ungodly hour of 7am in the morning. Up till recently it was attended by all of 2 going on 3 people, this week we moved the meeting from Friday to a slightly more convenient Thursday and now it is attended by 3 going on 4 people. Please note the deliberate tone of sarcasm - there are twelve people who live here.

It's not that I want to begrudge anyone their sleep, I'm an early riser, it's easier for me than others, and sometimes I forget; but getting up one morning a week at ten to seven isn't like being a Cistercian monk and getting up at daybreak, it's just asking you to be a Jesus Army soldier. And I'm cool with those who've decided that this is something they don't want to do, not everybody needs to be there - we're mature adults and we can choose how we manage ourselves. The thing is (sigh) we have made a commitment to prayer meetings, it is part of our covenant together. For good reason we can't afford to be nonchalant about our prayer-life - as a household we have to remain in the will of God.

Please don't accuse me of being intense, this is far from intense. I am simply convinced that God honours our dependence on him.

photo by zeeDOC of flickr.com

Hands held high - Jesus Army Life, Day 470

At our house-family breakfast this Sunday one of our newest residents described how she was experiencing life in community: "It's like I'm a toddler walking on my tip-toes and being held by my Dad. I'm scared I'm going to fall any moment. I've got my hands stretched up high to hold on to him as he leads me; it's exciting to be taking steps in God!"

I thought that was an amazing description. It's kinda how I'd like to live the whole of my life.

Serenity - Jesus Army Life, Day 466

I'm really trying hard to learn the value of the meaning of this word: serenity. The clearest definition I have of it is: "a disposition free from stress or emotion". I've been trying to focus on that lately. Not so much the emotion but the free from stress part.

There were some prophetic words spoken over me lately about God "broadening my shoulders". Makes sense I suppose but it's a tough one. Still, I know that unless I go through this little trial I won't be able to shoulder greater responsibility in the future. Without embracing the small suffering now I won't be any good to anyone in later life. And I need to be, I desperately need to be. How else can I fulfill, whatever it may be, the work that God has for me to do? And it's what Jesus did for me.

...Worcester tonight.

Couldn't have said it better - Jesus Army Life, Day 457

I found this poem the other day, it's gorgeously wonderful:

God and I?
That’s simple.
We are like two big people in a very tiny boat
who are continually,
unexpectedly bumping into each other
and giggling.

I could not have said it better. It describes so much of how I experience my relationship with God. I would love to meet the Sufi poet who wrote it. I feel we would have a lot to share. I'd like to ask if he or she knows what it is like to wake up and feel in love too because sometimes, not always, but sometimes Jesus makes me feel that way; it is a feeling that is irreplaceable.

Exercism - Jesus Army Life, Day 456

Okay - I'm going to go public with this one. Having had certain comments about a recent request for a skipping rope I thought I'd explain how tricky it is to do some exercise in community.

Now I know this is going to sound like a moan but did you know moaning uses at least 15 calories an hour so there you go... It's been suggested I do some running which I already do, mostly on weekends - the trouble is that I have to leave for work at about 7.30 in the morning, given that I also want to use some of my morning time to pray as well, if I'm going to exercise and shower I'm finding I have to get up close to 6am. I've tried, I just get tired at the other end of the day.

Doing half an hour of any exercise is difficult because, actually you have to change your clothes, stretch and get a shower afterwards too. You're talking about at least 45 minutes out of your day - and in community terms that's quite a lot.

On the basis that I'm supposed to do 30 minutes exercise a day and that I have a non-active desk job, plus coming up to two hours' car journey for work each day, I'm failing miserably. (For those of you who don't know community evenings are full of meetings so there's virtually no time there.) And then there's the fact that you have to find some room to do it, preferably out of other people's way and certainly away from the embarassment zone of the sisters. We're talking almost mission impossible.

Skipping seems like a useful option because you don't need much space and it's high impact - I can fit it into a busy schedule, don't really need to get changed to do it, but now, following brief mention of the skipping rope the ridicule of the church community is now falling upon me and I'm not sure I'm going to be able do anything to cope with the onslaught except reach for another slice of community cake!

Interval - Jesus Army Life, Day 454

Been busy.

Gospel happenings. Good stuff.

Sleepy day today.

Worcester for Jesus! Jesus Army Life, Day 447

We had a great time in Worcester. We met several people who want to stay in touch and made a lot more friends so we'll be popping back probably some time next week. It was great to be able to share about Jesus with people in a way that didn't seem like we were advertising cold buildings and hard pews.

On Friday night we parked up near the cathedral and were marauded by a load of teenagers. We prayed for a lot of them and some of them expressed a real serious interest in wanting to know God.

Today we marched through town singing and cheering and making a general exhibition of ourselves - people responded well, I think it cut through the consumer frenzy and helped people know that some people are living for something more than the world has to offer.

Worcester for Jesus!

Enough for a fool - Jesus Army Life, Day 445

These next few days we're going to be back in Worcester, looking to meet people who are hungry for the Kingdom of Heaven. We've met a couple already and hopefully we'll be catching up with them.

For me it all feels a bit daring, I'm not sure why - it's not as if I've never led a campaign before, I suppose that's just the subversive nature of the Kingdom (denying the world, lifting the humbled etc.) ... but whatever I'm feeling there are people who really could do with knowing that there's a God who cares, who hates the way people are treated and who has acted to rescue us all from any misery. That's important enough to look a fool for.

Vital men - Jesus Army Life, Day 441

Last night at 'Men Alive for God' one of the apostolic men gave a brilliant heartfelt speech about the many men in his household. He spoke of how he wanted them to be free to express their daring and wildness, he refused to be intimidated by their new initiative or youthful character but instead wanted to encourage them into more. He said he wanted the kind of men with him whom he could rely on in times of trouble.

This morning I went for a short run with one of our young men. I'm determined to see him enter the Kingdom fully, I want to make allowances for any short-falls on his part and be loving enough to meet him in them. I want to encourage his enthusiasm. He's got an uphill struggle to fight but I want to marching up with him.

Deeper joy - Jesus Army Life, Day440

One of the beauties of community are those incidental chats you have with people where you connect with them just a little bit more.

So yesterday I was chatting over morning coffee to a woman who's trying out community for a month, and we got round to discussing the biblical commandment: "Always be joyful" (1 Thessalonians 5:16). Often this woman has said that she doesn't like theological stuff but in a few moments we were exploring the depths of what such an attitude required.

We agreed it's a beautiful verse revealing the profound realness of Christian faith; we're well aware that life has its sad times and its happy times and yet the requirement to always be joyful shows that the Christian's life is based on a deeper groundwork of faith than mere emotion.

And all that at 7.15 in the morning.

Untouched - Jesus Army Life, Day 439

It's 5:30am. I've been up for an hour already. There's been lots going on, both in the house and in my soul... I guess I've found things a bit tough lately.

In Agape there was a question asked about family - how close you felt to the household - that kind of stuff. Everyone else seemed to find it easy but it was tough for me. I love this household, they are family to me, but I guess I'm not as close as I'd like to be. Something God's got to work on.

I'm very close to my real family and I love all these guys here. But within me something feels unknown. It's like there's a bridge that hasn't been crossed and on the other side is a paradise in my heart. Few have ever crossed there, but until you get there I just feel maybe you don't know me like I know me - if that makes any sense.

I really do love the people here - they are very special to me. It's just there's something untouched.