Something within - Jesus Army Life

Truly God is good to Israel,  to those who are pure in heart.  But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.
Psalms 73

I'm inspired but I'm not sure why...

Recently, I've felt bashed about, emotionally overloaded and 'can't be bothered to talk to you right now God, thank you very much'.

I don't think I'm the best candidate for God's man of the moment, and yet I sense God calling me. He won't let go.

I've been gong through a cleansing of sorts, a realignment of my soul - it's difficult to describe: before there was richness in the brotherhood life I shared, now there's only... God.

Life is multifaceted, there's a lot going on, but spiritually it's just God.

It's not a bad situation. I'm learning about the faithfulness of God, this friend and companion, who won't let me go. I don't think he lets any of us go...

And because of that I'm grateful. Because of this pursuant love I'm filled with faith, even though in me there's nothing in me personally... As I said, I'm being realigned.

He's calling me to listen. I don't want to, but I can't escape his love. It's all too difficult to explain. I'm being turned inside out and finding, in spite of myself, that there's something more precious within.


Oneness - Jesus Army Life

I'm trying to get my head around oneness.

You know, when I'm driving through Wales I feel 'at one' with the land of my forefathers.

And, taking the example of a family, they can be one even though they're tearing each other's hair out!

But oneness seems to be more than this...

In community-living we like to think we're one because we share everything together.

However, having recently visited another church known for their oneness even though they don't share things as practically as we do, I'm left asking where does oneness really come from?

There is partly something in having a shared history together, but that can breed indifference as much as oneness.

Perhaps the added ingredient of mutual affection tips the balance to achieve blessed unity? I'm not sure.

But if that is the case... What makes Christian unity so special? Perhaps it's not? But actually I think it is.

The ability to join soul to soul and heart to heart with others is not unique to the Christian faith. But what is peculiar, I think, is the sense of a common destiny, a single hope, wrapped up in a spiritual love so powerful it captures the very being of every person who puts their trust in it (or should I say Him?)

He prayed for  such oneness. It paralyses our independence, but leaves us with our individuality. It wreaks havoc with our human ties but calls us to something purer. And, if we let it conquer us practically, divorces us from every chain designed on earth to bind us from one another.

I should say I believe such oneness can be achieved without living together, but when it's doing so much why avoid the inevitable?


When I read poetry - Jesus Army Life

When I read poetry, a stillness comes over me, like I was always meant to be in this place.

When I share my life with other people, it happens the same way, a kind of calmness that helps me know this is where I'm meant to be.

Living together is not perfect, it's organic, it grows just as a tree does, jumbled but majestic, just as poetry describes life with words that are at the same time confused but serene.