So I'm making it up as I go along.
And it's my fault. A friend asked me what she should blog about and I tried to think of the most challenging thing possible.
So I said, 'write about celibacy'. And she said, 'only if you do too!'
It should be easy for me. I mean I live with several people who have decided that they are never going to marry. Why? Because they love God so much they want to live entirely for him (together with their friends).
But that sentence is enough to send most minds spinning. Mine too sometimes...
And yet I've seen it in action and it works, not always, but mostly; and it's a beautiful thing...
It's great to be around single people who just want to live life to the full, but not in a way that serves their own interests, but others'. There's a family who live in the house too and they bring lots of life - in fact the simple humour and pleasure of sharing their lives is truly humbling - but it's different. Being with celibates is inspiring, not because they are individually anything amazing (though they are) but because their direction in life causes you to look upwards to greater things. To things like living for God.
And there's an even edgier reality to all this. I spoke to a man yesterday who knows a family with 13 children - 13! There's no selfishness in that kind of life is there? Plenty of joy I imagine, but not much spare cash or time. They didn't do it because they wanted to live-the-good-life. They made a strong choice not to live according to the common assumptions about how to be happy but in a way that fully celebrates life and yet is counter cultural.
In its own way, but in the other direction, celibacy is a full-on way of life too. Indeed it goes further in not choosing the world's standards but a different way. I have friends, male and female who've said no to marriage for an adventure full of sacrifice and experience. A life filled with the choice to give yourself to other people and to God. In effect they've said no to the love of one friend above all others in exchange for a yes to the freedom to love as many friends as possible as much as possible. Famous Christian celibates like John Stott, Mike Pillavachi and
And I'm grateful that people like this, counter cultural people, married and celibate people, have always blessed me as I learn to follow Jesus, who is the ultimate in counter culture - because, of course, he wasn't married either was he?
I've replied over at fragz's place but didn't want to leave without saying hi :)
ReplyDeletethank you
ReplyDeleteJackie Pullinger crossed out is a bit harsh - all she did was get married!
ReplyDeleteThe strikethrough refers to the ongoing rumour that she is celibate and there was good reason to imagine that was the case. She worked in her ministry as a single woman for 25 years before marrying in 1992.
ReplyDeleteSadly her husband passed away within a few years of their marriage, and Jackie is continuing the work.
This is good to see.
ReplyDeleteI would add that for some of us, we are involved in ministries that are rarely done well by married people and ordained pastors.
We give up marriage so that we can go where marrieds cannot go. For me, celibacy is incidental to my other callings. My singleness opens the doors to getting close to people who are too frightened to go to church.
The fact I've been divorced and now am celibate allows me to work with single parents.
My involvement in the business world opens the doors to company presidents who think they are too intelligent to come to Christ even though they need him desperately.
Several men have talked to me about marriage in the recent years, but each time I've realized that my calling to reach the lost is more important. I am open to doing whatever the Lord wants.
When I was first divorced, I was a basket case, but the Lord worked powerfully in my life. By staying celibate for the sake of my children, I found the Lord working in my life in deeper ways. I grew far more than when I was married. I also found that the pain of loneliness as a single was far less than the pain of loneliness in a bad marriage.
Best wishes to you all. Surround yourself with good friends; pray constantly; devote yourselves to a calling.
Expect God to work mightily through obedience and sacrifice. He does. Wow!