Good feelings - Jesus Army Life, Day 534

I feel like partying and hey, perhaps if someone else was in the mood, I'd go down to the student bar and dance to some tunes. Earlier I was in the mood just to go by myself but I've just come back from a kickabout with some lads and I'm a tad worn out. Still, it's nice to still have that party feeling. My esteemed sister just commented that it's time for people to retire to bed, but I feel very much awake.

There's something about living life to the full that appeals to me. I don't want a quiet life. I want a life that's blazing Jesus. I hate it when I feel tired and can barely hold a conversation together because every moment if worth indulging in to the full.

Earlier tonight I told a friend of mine that he had anger. It was, if anything, intended as a compliment (he'd had cramp on the pitch and some of his emotion was showing). I'm not sure how he took it but I'd want to encourage him to be positive about his aggression. Anger is cool if you can control it. We need more people who know how to use their anger in the right situation. We have to be a people who want to push forward, we can't afford to settle into a rut, and sometimes it takes that dynamic atmosphere of anger to break through a situation. It's part of life, like being in the mood for a party, and both feelings can be forces for good.

photo by Simon Pais of flickr.com

Life! - Jesus Army Life, Day 533

Two of our sisters, one younger, one a little more mature, are running round the house sticking up bible verses. The purpose is not to put everyone in a state of constant religious paranoia, but to communicate life and inspiration. They're certainly having fun planning exactly where to place each item: one on the fridge, one by the door, one on the computer, one in the loo. The eager conversation betrays the underlying atmosphere in the house – there's life here and it wants to live! It's got to burst out, it has to express itself. There is so much yearning here, youth with a vision for God, that it has to explode into passion for his purpose, just as a flower has to bloom in beauty for the glory of God.

photo by diane leigh of flickr.com

Hot bath - Jesus Army Life, Day 530

The helter skelter journey of supporting chaotic young men continues. They're loveable scruffs the lot of them, but it can be a bit hair raising at times. Yesterday, one was in court for vandalism, today, another is in court as a victim of mugging, another tramps the streets in search of a job (all the while I wonder if his ambition not to stack shelves really is serving the Kingdom), another can't drag himself away from the wrong crowd, another worries about whether it really is holy to imagine partaking in violence, everyday.

Yesterday I asked God if He was planning on changing these guys any time soon. I'm not really sure what the answer is - I could do with a bit of changing too! But we persevere in Jesus, pressing on to discover more of his life-transforming power among us....

Chatting to one disciple it occurred to me that learning that Jesus really loves us is a bit like climbing into a very hot bath.... You can tell the bath is hot without having to get into it, just as you can know Jesus loves you without really experiencing it - but at some point you have to get in. And it's a tough task! Your flesh is far too used to the environment outside of Jesus' love to want to have to change. And his love is hot! You dip your toe in, but it's too much, you withdraw from him again. You work up the courage and try again, this time you can sustain the experience of him just a little bit longer, but still it's too much. Eventually in sheer frustration you shove you your foot in and grit your teeth. You resist the heat of his love for as long as you can, and then something happens: you realise it's not so bad after all... It still takes an age for you to get the rest of your naked flesh into the heat of that love, bit by little bit, but eventually you manage to sit down and lie back and

aaaaahhhhhhh it's sooo good.

You never want to leave.

In my experience it takes ages to realise that Jesus really loves you and a lifetime to learn to trust and remain in the experience of that love. I think I'm still only in up to my ankles. But it's Jesus' love that will change these guys - the love that we more mature Christians must learn to splash about as we welcome them into his Church.

photo by atconc of flickr.com

We all want to be superheroes - Jesus Army Life, Day 526

"Two things I ask of you, O LORD;
do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you
and say, 'Who is the LORD ?'
Or I may become poor and steal,
and so dishonor the name of my God.
(Proverbs 30:7-9)

Life is difficult. If we go for being spiritual superheroes we can crash and burn, we become arrogant and say, "Who is the LORD?" forgetting how much we need him; before long we find we don't match up to the high standard we boasted for ourselves. The alternative is that our lives fall into a pit of mess, we can do nothing to sort ourselves out. I have known people who literally tried to be something and then found themselves with nothing, literally stealing in order to keep going.

A balance needs to be found, and the secret is in the first request. Don't be false! It seems so simple but what we need is to be humble and choose that simplicity of needing Jesus. The words "daily bread" carry a spiritual significance because they also mean 'bread of life': the words Jesus used to describe himself. ("Give us this day our daily bread.") We need to find reality, the only true balance between being nothing and pretending to be something. Or you really might find that your life is destroyed and that you die.

Life has been gutting in the last couple of days. I've seen young men I love fall into ruin because there has been no platform to build their lives on, they chose to lie about who they are rather than cope with reality and it has crushed them.

photo by R80o of flickr.com

Song By Song: Martin Smith talks through each song on 'The Mission Bell'

Song By Song: Martin Smith talks through each song on 'The Mission Bell'

Paint The Town Red

"Paint The Town Red" is Velvet Underground meets Delirious? meets Wesley Revival lyrics, "Oh here we come, it's time for the Church to be who we are/We've got this leather-backed book and a freedom cry/We're the army of God who are ready to die." I really love the lyrics. I love them! It's just kind of Jesus Army stuff, you know? Just brash and stuff that probably we wouldn't have written three years ago when we were trying to be all cool and get on Radio 1! But who gives a monkeys? These songs come out and we're proud of them. I think it's two minutes and two seconds. I think it might even be the shortest thing we've ever recorded, so it's great!

Taken from an interview on CrossRhythms with Martin Smith.

We love this song too. I love its raw punk feel, I remember bopping about to it with a friend of mine who was just coming off drugs. We knew what we wanted to live for! Here's the full version:

Paint The Town Red
You know I feel there's something 'bout to break now,
You know I feel there's a city here to take now.
And it's not so tough for these ordinary hands,
When we trust someone with extraordinary plans.

You know I feel this heart's about to break now,
Cos I can see what the devil's trying to take now.
We've got this leather backed book and a freedom cry,
And we're an army of God who are ready to die.

You give us hope where hope is gone,
You fill the streets with a holy song,
We’re gonna paint this big old town red.

Oh, Here we come, here we come
Oh, Here we come, here we come

You know I feel this sky's about to break now.
You know I feel our city's gonna shake now.
And we hear you call every woman and man,
"Ring the mission bell" and storm the gates of hell.

Miracles run from street to street,
Rise up Church for a holy meet,
We’re gonna paint this big old town red
We’re gonna paint this big old town red
With the blood of Jesus!

Written by Delirious? ©2005 Curious? Music UK

Everyday - Jesus Army Life, Day 533

Quiet times have become interesting lately. It's a task to get up early but the first real test is where to have one? In my room there really is nowhere comfortable to perch and staying in bed is deadly - before you know it you're snoring your prayers rather than pleading them. Besides there's another brother in my room so it's not exactly 'private'. Now, someone else has taken to getting up early as well and so they're always beating me to the Quiet room, my preferred place of repose. So I'm left with the choice of the dining room or the office. I prefer the dining room as there's some morning light in there.

Once you settle into a space where you can actually focus on God, it's still an effort to still your soul, but it's worth it. Having a morning converssation with God, some early exercise for your spirit, is an incredible boon to the day. It's only the prologue to the the coming hours, where the real spiritual activity tales place, acts of goodness, abiding in Him etc. but I do wonder how anyone manages to maintain a relationship with God without some daily practice.

photo by carf of flickr.com

Infinite blessing - Jesus Army Life, Day 532

Life feels like a major paradox between joy on the one hand and frustration on the other; but I'm doing my best to concentrate on the positives.

It struck me that if you are growing in God you should expect life to be a paradox of joy and frustration - as strange as it might seem. I think, given my druthers, I'd prefer a paradox of peace and tribulation! But I'm not going to complain.

Another thought occurred to me this weekend. It happened while hanging upside down on a child's swing in the park. To keep seeing the world from a child's perspective: fresh-eyed with wonder, always drinking in the sweetjuice of life, you need to have fascinatingly new experiences every day. I've no idea how you do that, but I'm interested in any suggestions.

One thing I know: Jesus embraced life, with all its joy and pain. And I'm not going to let anyone or any experience snatch away the beauty which he has given.

"Cherish your vision and your dreams as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements."

Napoleon Hill

photo by vsz of flickr.com

"A little brief authority" - Jesus Army Life, Day 521

Our church leader is always reminding us that love does not allow the disciple to remain in his sin. Love chastises teaches scripture, it doesn't mess around, it doesn't treat people as if they don't matter and take their sin lightly. We have to switch from our idea of love to God's. God is completely for us, that is the nature of his love and you can read about it throughout the bible. The famous Psalm 23, The Lord is my shepherd, is a perfect example, but even there it is his "rod" and his "staff" that comfort, in other words the shepherd's discipline brought the sheep security.

We need to be angry about what deserves our anger and stop thinking that Christianity is about being nice to people. That just compromises the grace by which God has poured out his forgiveness. It makes a mockery of what Jesus has done.

Don't we realise that by trying to smooth over our wrongs and other people's small rebellions we become complicit in their activity? I'm not talking about every person here but the actions of fellow Christians, those who profess to be our brethren. We all have a duty for which we will have to answer on Judgement Day: we must not allow righteousness to be tainted and God's name to be blasphemed because of us. Of course, we will sin, it is inevitable until we reach maturity, so then, let us speed on towards maturity and love one another into making right choices.

All sin, no matter how small, disrespects our friends, ourselves and God, not to mention the necessary victim that someone somewhere becomes as a result of our woeful activity. Let us truly turn to love and fight sin. Be strong and not weak. Be always loving with tenderness but firmness and may Christ's Church rise to overcome her enemies.

Photo by itsjustlo of flickr.com