10.10.05

Mundane Monday - Jesus Army Life, Day 89

Life has felt pretty mundane recently. And that's just the biggest lie ever!

Life is far from mundane, and there's so much going on in my life I can't understand why I'd feel that way...

Last night, at church, I was talking to a man who is successfully weaning himself off a heroin addiction. Should he get clean, he has everything to live for. Life feels worthwhile if you can just help someone like that even a little bit along the way. I mean what else is there to live for but loving others?

So why does life feel so mundane? I'm not sure. Things came home to me most when a young disciple of mine, someone I love, found himself in serious trouble. In bed that night, I couldn't help feeling that things were almost too tedious to bear! Now surely that's the wrong response. I guess I just felt stressed.

I want to enjoy life, and there is a huge amount to enjoy... perhaps... well... is knowing the need to keep giving out in love causing a war within myself?... a war with my 'self?' all because I want some 'me' time? I literally don't have any other life and I don't want any other distraction than the Kingdom of God. I truly enjoy the life I lead. How, at the same time, can I feel so out of kilter?