The pressures of community of course drive you to rely more on yourself at first: you look to your natural strengths to get through, you learn how to work with other people, you learn how not to rub people up the wrong way (sometimes), you learn effectively to put yourself last; but this can still be so much about you and not very much about Jesus. It can be all you doing the work, all you suffering the pressure, all you doing the organising and caring, rather than remembering that your job is to die and allow Christ to live through you.
So this has hit me lately. I think I had grown to become so self-involved (even though I thought a lot of my time was given to others) and I forgot those most important to me, those who are quietly loving and loyal and deserve to be cherished. I'd noticed I was becoming bitterly rude but hadn't appreciated why - I just thought I was cutting through so much superficiality. I am resolving to learn a lesson: if more than 50% of my thoughts are consumed with myself, or anything else I guess, rather than Christ then I'm living wrongly. How I truly quantify this isn't really the point, it's just a way of estimating how I'm doing. I never ever want to be so focused on my self that I effectively deny Christ again.
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me.
John 12:24-26
Stirring stuff. It reminds me of our one-time quest to "practice the presence" - remember? I still assess myself in these terms from time to time. Haven't been doing too well recently. Time to do some dying...
ReplyDeleteYep, this is good, hits the spot, cuts to the heart and is so right. I am definaltey convicted of my persoal selfishness. I had this scripture from God on Sunday and this is a clear confirmation that I need to change. God I need you!
ReplyDeleteBeen thinking on this one a bit...maybe coming at it from a different perspective..so will probably put my thoughs up in a blog of my own over the next few days...sort of reply via blog if that makes sense.
ReplyDelete; ) The TJ
wow yeah so deep stuff... i dont know what else to say
ReplyDeleteMaybe I'm just still too new to being a christian - Or I've sarted off with a good habit; regularly stopping and considering if I'm trying to walk ahead of the yolk or falling behind it. I nearly always feel like it's one or the other. Each time I adjust I may just be a little closer to walking along side jesus than I was before.
ReplyDeleteAm I taking an over simplistic view?
DJ
It's good to be Christ like.
ReplyDeleteYou're been kinda logical mate.
Your still in the process of rationalising who you are in comparison to Jesus.
You aren't going to resolve it.
Look at it this way. You are who you are. Jesus didn't catagorise us into first, second, or first class Christians. He shed his blood so that so who-ever believed in him once and for all would gain eternal life.
It's cool to make the effort. But He's the one that took/takes the final step.