25.8.05

Jesus Army Life, Day 43: I had a friend...

I just found out a friend of mine is getting married. Understand, when I say "friend", most of my close friends will smile wisely, waiting for me to utter the word "she" and then burst out laughing. Apparently, I'm that transparent.

Anyway this "friend" used to be a dear 'friend' of mine. We dated for a short while and I felt, well, privileged to know someone as smart and beautiful as she was. We never got too far though, I was determined to increase in my faith in Jesus, she wasn't interested, or at least that's what she said. I guess I felt she wasn't too interested in me either. We fell out and things cooled off. A short while later I moved to another town to move into community and we lost contact.

It's strange when you hear about things like this. There's often a 'what if...' question inside begging to be asked, even if you don't want to admit it. And, with the definite choice of community life, there's a temptation to blame the route life has taken on the radical choice you made. It feels like a sharp blade in your heart or something torn out as you sense the whisper of regret within. But life is never that simple and you make your choices with purpose in the full knowledge that times like this will come.

I'm glad she's found someone special and I'm glad I've made the choices I have, and I still hope she gets close to Jesus.